Including Children and Young People


How can children and young people feel included within their loved one’s funeral?

Due to my background and experience of working with children & young people – and as a Mother, I believe children and young people grieve in their own way, and should be supported individually and given the option to attend their loved one’s funeral.

I can:

  • Arrange to meet a child prior to introduce myself, and talk about their loved one’s service and facilitate a time for them to ask me questions.
  • Hear their memories and ideas and include them.
  • Perhaps just 2-3 minutes before a service I can meet with them, and give them a ‘VIP’ tour of the venue to orientate themselves before the service starts.
  • If the crem curtains are closing your child is welcome to press the button prior to see the curtains move – even press the button themselves during the committal moment.
  • Create a ‘grief gift bag’ to give them to walk away with.
  • Involve them practically, they may want to read something out.
  • Represent them visually through a photograph, teddy or something they have created for their loved one.

For example: I have designed a bouquet of flowers colouring sheet that can be coloured in, include a message, and then folded into a 3D paper bouquet of flowers to be put on display or kept in a memory box.

This colouring tool could be used to help set up a guardian or teacher with a child to colour and process their grief.


Child Bereavement Resources and Support

Child Bereavement UK: Offers support for families when a baby or child dies, or when a child is facing bereavement.

Below is a helpful YouTube clip from Child Bereavement UK called: ‘Explaining funerals to children: what happens at a cremation?’ that you may want to show to your child prior. 

Explaining funerals to children: what happens at a cremation?

Explaining funerals to children: what happens at a burial?

Just wanted to thank you again for a lovely service today and making the children feel so included.

It was most appreciated by us all. 


What help is available?

The Child Funeral Charity offers financial support to families that have lost a child under the age of 16.

Support for bereaved families:

Support for child funeral costs: